SINGAPORE: A local male TikToker commented recently on the observation of the poor dating scene in Singapore as well as the complaint he has often heard that Singaporean guys are boring.
“I feel like we are past this conversation about the sterility of Singapore. Like, we all know Singapore is small and competitive, and that’s why we tend to have more one-dimensional mindsets,” said the young man behind an account called @sgproverbs in a video he posted on July 12, adding that this is just the environment everyone grew up in.
But he specifically focused on an aspect related to men, saying that in Singapore, “guys are just very afraid to be who they are.”
While women often say that they would like guys who can just be themselves, the post author explained that this is easier said than done, as perhaps men find it hard to be themselves because they may not even know who they are due to the social conditioning they’re exposed to in Singapore.
He admitted that the same goes for women in Singapore as well, though he can’t speak to their experience as he’s male.
And perhaps Singaporean males, more than those from other countries, “are made to believe they must follow a very strict societal standard,” a conditioning that they receive from their parents starting from when they’re very young, he added.
“A lot of this gets reinforced by NS (national service),” he said, copying officers who ask those they train, “Eh, why you like that?”
He said, “The typical army environment makes the social conditions even worse.”
“This is maybe how guys become boring,” he added, as it causes men to think it would be a wrong thing for them to stand out.
People don’t really pursue something that they really believe in, or try to be who they think they really are, because they are afraid they will be judged for it.
And men, as well as women, are afraid of judgment, he added.
In the comments to his video, a TikTok user agreed, saying, “Yeah, I hide my hobbies. The fear of being judged is whack.”
“It’s Asian hierarchical parenting vs Western liberal experiential parenting,” another added.
However, one wrote: “I have a different take. What if it was more of a physical environment issue rather than a social environment issue? We lack the opportunities to explore various hobbies. The lack of third spaces is an issue for hobbies like dancing.” /TISG
Read also: TikToker agrees that ‘Singlish is our first language’
