SINGAPORE: A Singaporean daughter has confessed she is reaching her breaking point after years of being the sole breadwinner for both her unemployed parents.
She revealed in an online post that this has been her reality since 2020, when she was still in her third year at the National University of Singapore. At the time, she was already balancing her studies with part-time work to help support her family.
According to her, her mother had left her job due to a mental health condition, while her father resigned to become her caregiver, leaving her to shoulder the household expenses alone.
Things did not get much easier even after she landed a full-time job in 2022 that paid S$4,400 a month. She shared that her parents then asked her to give them S$1,100 every month.
Although her father briefly took on occasional ad hoc work, earning between S$50 and S$100 a month when her mother’s condition improved, the arrangement was short-lived, and he eventually stopped working.
She added that over the past two years, she has often returned home to find her parents “resting and using their phones,” while still making regular trips to Johor Bahru every two weeks, which she admitted has increasingly felt unfair to her.
Feeling drained by the ongoing responsibilities, the woman said she had at one point subtly suggested that her parents consider taking on part-time work or even volunteering, but the response she received took her by surprise.
Her father allegedly pushed back with remarks like, “Do you want me to work until I die?” and “Once we’re dead, we won’t have to do this anymore.”
“I don’t know how long I can cope with this [and] my parents don’t have much savings,” she said. “I feel very tired, and my soul is very drained. I feel quite resentful and angry on the inside. There were times when I wanted to run away. This is unlike other family households where more than one person works.”
Financial support for parents
The daughter’s story sheds light on the significant pressures faced by some adult children in Singapore. A 2023 survey commissioned by The Straits Times found that 68% of adult children provide monetary support to their parents, with 55% citing “filial piety” as their main motivation.
Among younger adults, however, 39% of Gen Z respondents said their contributions were less about gratitude and more a form of “rent” while they continue living at home.
Regarding the amount given, about half of those who provide support said they set aside roughly 10% to 20% of their monthly salary, while close to two-fifths reported giving less than that.
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