SINGAPORE: A domestic helper recently took to social media to share her heartbreak after deciding to leave the family she had worked for over the past four years because her employers allegedly refused to increase her S$650 salary despite repeated promises.
‘This family is very kind’
In an anonymous post in the SINGAPORE TRANSFER (No Fees/SD), DIRECT HIRE & NEW HELPER Facebook group, the helper said she had become deeply attached to the family after caring for their three children and managing nearly every aspect of the household since joining them.
She shared that when she first started working for the family, the “eldest child was in Primary 1, the second child was in kindergarten, and the youngest was only three months old.” Over the years, she said she became heavily involved in raising the children and running the household independently while both parents worked.
“I handle almost everything in this house,” she wrote, adding that she carefully planned weekly meals, managed the children’s routines, ensured their homework was completed, packed their school bags, and kept the household organised before the parents returned home from work.
“The children respect me, love me, and always listen to my advice. Every dinner feels warm because we always talk about our day at school or at home. My employers often tell people that they are “stress-free” because I am there taking care of the home and the children, even when they travel overseas together.”
The helper also shared that her employers have never restricted her from using her phone, nor have they prohibited her from wearing makeup or dressing up whenever they go out together or during her off days. They let her be herself, she said.
“To be honest, this family is very kind. They treat me like part of their family. We eat at the same table and discuss the children, the house, and daily life together. Even both sides of their extended family are very kind to me.”
‘My salary has been S$650 from the beginning until now’
Despite the close relationship they shared, the helper said problems began to surface when several promises allegedly made by her employers were never fulfilled.
She claimed that although they had promised yearly bonuses and a salary increment during her second contract, neither materialised. She also alleged that they never reimbursed her for a two-way plane ticket home from two years ago, even though her contract was nearing its end.
According to the helper, she also had to pay for her own medical expenses whenever she fell ill.
“My salary has been S$650 from the beginning until now, and they still cannot increase it.” she wrote. “Taking care of three children and managing a whole house alone is not easy. When the children are sick, I am the one caring for them, preparing their food, and taking care of their routines. I do everything myself.”
The helper said she finally decided to speak up earlier this year after learning that her employers had renewed her contract without first discussing it with her. Feeling uncomfortable, she asked for both a salary increase and reimbursement for her plane ticket.
However, she claimed her employers rejected the request, telling her they “had no money” to provide the increase or repayment.
‘I keep thinking about my future and my child’s future too’
Faced with growing financial responsibilities back home, particularly her child’s increasing school expenses, the helper said she eventually made the painful decision to leave the family in search of better opportunities and a higher income.
She added that she initially requested a transfer arrangement so she could continue working in Singapore without returning home first, but her employers allegedly refused.
They told her: “I don’t want to do a transfer. It’s too troublesome, and I don’t want to deal with your new employer.”
As a result, the helper said she now has no choice but to return to her home country and “start everything again from zero,” though her employers reportedly agreed to provide her with a referral letter for future employment.
“I love this family very much, and leaving them is honestly painful for me. But at the same time, I keep thinking about my future and my child’s future too. Do you think my decision is wrong?” she asked others. “I work for them through direct hire without an agency.”
‘You’ll find another family who appreciates you more’
In the comments, many netizens agreed that the helper made the right decision by leaving the family.
One commenter said the helper should not feel guilty for prioritising her own future and financial stability.
“It’s not selfish to take care of your own needs. You traded your youth and family back home to come here to earn a living, not do charity work. With your good work ethic, you can find a better job.”
The commenter also encouraged her to look for direct hiring opportunities online, saying, “You can register free at the direct helper website, Searchmaid.com.sg/direct, to post your availability.”
Another user commented, “Clearly they are satisfied with your work to want to renew, but at the same time taking advantage by not fulfilling their promises. At the end of the day, weigh the pros and cons.”
A third individual added, “I can see why you’re torn, but it sounds like you’ve thought this through carefully. You’re not just leaving for a job. You’re doing it for a better life and to provide for your child. You’ll find another family who appreciates you more. We are here for work, and also they pay us for work, and you deserve better treatment. Wishing you all the best.”
Some commenters, however, felt she should try discussing the matter with her employers again before leaving.
One user suggested that she explain more clearly why the salary increase was important to her.
“They sound like nice people who can talk and discuss. How about explaining to them nicely why you need the salary increase (for your growing kids)?”
“And if they can’t afford to keep you, perhaps pass to any agency. That way, your current employer does not need to deal with a new employer. Just that your new employer will need to pay for agency fees since the agent does all the admin stuff. Most won’t mind, as you do not have any outstanding loans.”
In other news, one Singaporean says they believe the cost-of-living crisis is starting to wear people down, particularly gig workers who appear to be in a constant state of “survival mode.”
On Saturday (May 16), they wrote on Reddit’s “AskSingapore” forum that they have noticed many Grab riders and delivery workers becoming “incredibly cynical, passive-aggressive, or just emotionally exhausted” in recent times.
Read more: ‘People are financially stressed’: Singaporean says rising cost of living ‘is making a lot of gig workers angry at life’
