SINGAPORE: In a recent Instagram post, a content creator who described herself as proud to have been born and bred in Singapore nevertheless said that the country has taught her stress “before it taught me rest.”
As much as she finds much to appreciate in the city-state, she also talked about how exhausting it is due to the expectations Singaporeans have from a very early age. And now, she is on a journey of learning and unlearning, and is choosing “depth over the usual definitions of success.”
Chelsea, who goes by @offbeatsingaporean on social media, wrote in the caption of her April 20 post that life in Singapore is “measured by invisible timelines and resumé-tied identities,” which she did not realize was not the norm until she saw the lived reality in other countries.
She added that “this little perfect life” in Singapore is something that others may deeply envy, and yet can be extremely tiring.
“And it’s okay to name that out loud while being appreciative of what we have,” Chelsea wrote.
Here are the reasons she listed as to why life in Singapore is exhausting:
First, “Everything is a competition, even rest. From PSLE rankings to how early you ballot for a BTO and commit to a partner, life here is structured like a race,” she wrote, adding that even during downtime, people feel the need for upskilling or holidaymaxxing.
“There’s no such thing as doing nothing without justifying it,” she added.
The second is the “invisible timeline” people in Singapore feel the need to follow, including graduation by age 23, but getting a job offer beforehand, acquiring a BTO as soon as possible, and marriage at age 30.
This timeline is an unspoken yardstick by which people measure their lives, and people who don’t follow find themselves “behind.”
Third is the “narrow and expensive” definition of success, which is composed of just “one script: degree, stable job, family. Anything outside of that feels risky.”
For people who do follow this script, living costs in one of the most expensive countries in the world take their toll, with housing, and even a wedding, causing a dent in personal finances.
For her fourth point, Chelsea wrote, “Efficiency became our identity, and it’s exhausting,” and explained that this leaves no room for slowing down.
Finally, she noted that in Singapore, a person’s worth is tied to their job, and their job title becomes their identity. Because of this, Singaporeans have little opportunity to simply find themselves.
Based on the comments on the post, many Instagram users agreed with her points.
“It’s important to remind ourselves that taking breaks and recognising our mental health is not a sign of weakness, but a necessary aspect of a fulfilling life. Striking that balance between ambition and rest is crucial, and voicing our struggles is the first step towards fostering a more compassionate and supportive community,” wrote one.
Others, however, said that this is not a problem unique to Singapore.
“Every major world-class city has this in some flavour,” a commenter noted.
Another added that she finds life much more stressful in the United States. /TISG
Read also: We left because it was too comfortable’: Couple say life abroad made them appreciate Singapore more
