SINGAPORE: A social media post from AWARE drew attention to the loneliness men feel, which occurs not only in Singapore but in many other parts of the world.
While some have, directly or indirectly, blamed women for not helping solve this particular dilemma, the organisation said that the solution may be found in men cultivating real friendships and strong connections with one another, in building “a culture of solidarity” with each other.
The advocacy group for gender equality said that based on its recent study on men’s attitudes to gender, family, and society in Singapore, males apparently have difficulty with expressing emotions.
The study showed that 70% of respondents said they hide emotions such as sadness, fear, anxiety, or stress, while more than 50% believe that showing emotions makes them appear weak.
“Is it any wonder that this rejection of emotions and connection with other human beings is a recipe for loneliness and isolation?” AWARE wrote.
Men’s loneliness, the group added, cannot be solved by getting a girlfriend, and blaming women for being more emotionally independent than men serves no one.
Understanding that the root of the problem is systemic is key.
AWARE cited the National Service programme as an example of a venue where men have been discouraged from seeking help, from a whole platoon getting punished after someone called the hotline, to inappropriate touching, and dismissing legitimate health concerns in favour of “toughness.”
The group added that fathers, teachers, and NS instructors (who likely learned it from the examples they themselves saw) have traditionally taught men to “man up” and never be emotionally vulnerable. Men today, however, can break this cycle and “band together to fight for their space to be emotionally vulnerable without apology.”
“Men, go out and make some friends,” the group advised.
What commenters are saying
On Instagram, some users on the platform have thanked AWARE for bringing the issue up.
“Love how you’re writing about this topic (all the rage right now) in a Singaporean context!!!
Yessss—men, please allow yourselves to feel emotions, please be more human and experience the full range of what it means to be human!! There is no such thing as ‘the manliest man’; it’s just a societal construct that harms you more than it benefits you!!! Just be a human!!!” one wrote.
“If we think about it another way… if men aren’t allowed emotions and it makes them weak… are they supposed to be robots then? Is happiness not an emotion? Is excitement not? Is anger not? They box themselves in, claim it’s women’s doing, and yet refuse to acknowledge and face the system that caged them for decades,” added another.
A commenter pointed out, “I mean… we have 40-year-olds still engaging in locker room talk,” while another wrote, “I support this post 100%.” /TISG
Read related: ‘I hope they continue spotlighting NS to build momentum’: Singaporeans applaud MenToo movement for acknowledging what goes unsaid
