SINGAPORE: A man said he found it “weird” when his girlfriend asked him to pay for every meal whenever they went out together.
In a recent post shared on the r/asksg forum, he explained that he is a fresh graduate who has only just started work, earning about S$4,000 a month after CPF. He also brings in an additional S$2,000 on weekends by helping out in a relative’s business.
His girlfriend, meanwhile, gives tuition and works part-time, bringing her total monthly income to around S$4,500.
“She doesn’t want to find a full-time job and just wants to take tuition and do a part-time job. She has a degree and graduated 1.5 years ago but doesn’t want to work full-time due to stress.”
He added that they have been together for five years and that it was only after they both started working that she began insisting he should “pay for all of her meals whenever we eat out, whether at a hawker centre or in a mall.”
“I am actually ok to pay for the meals, but it’s just the mentality that she expects me to pay is just weird,” he said.
More recently, his girlfriend also suggested an “allowance” arrangement, asking him to give her between S$100 and S$200 for her personal spending.
Perplexed by the requests, he turned to others for their views, asking, “Is this normal for 2 working boyfriends and girlfriends? Is this actually normal for working couples to do that? What’s the norm here?”
“You’re not a credit card”
The post quickly gained traction on the forum, receiving more than 300 upvotes and 341 responses.
Most users agreed that his girlfriend was a “red flag” and “entitled” for making such demands and urged him to reconsider the relationship.
“I’m female, and I think you need a new girlfriend,” one said.
“I am a female here, too. I think you need to think for yourself, too. She is working and earning,” another chimed in. “No reason for you to pay for every meal unless she works a full-time job and a part-time job to pay off her debt or to support her family and doesn’t have much for herself… which you have to discuss with her if that’s really her situation.”
A third shared, “It’s weird and not normal. My boyfriend and I always treat each other. He does pay for special occasions, but I don’t need to ask, and he treats me every other date when he’s able to. I know ‘princess treatment’ is popular, but realistically, not everyone is dating a super-rich guy, and there has to be a middle ground. You’re not a credit card, bro lol.”
A few others, however, came to the girlfriend’s defence. One woman said she has been receiving an allowance from her husband since they got married, and he also pays for all their meals. They discussed and agreed on this arrangement before marriage.
She added, “As a woman, this was a big deal breaker for me if my husband was not ok to pay for our food/giving me an allowance after marriage.”
“I’m going to give birth to our kids and will even consider sacrificing my career for our kids, so I do not think it’s ridiculous if my man provides for me and our kids! When he gives me money, it signals his commitment to our family and that he values the things that I do for him and our kid.”
Another user advised, “You need to sit down and talk about how you will share expenses. Don’t just accept assumptions about what men and women are supposed to do. Find an acceptable and workable solution. The days of man as provider are long gone.”
In other news, a worker took to social media on Friday (Mar 28) to share that they feel quite “isolated” in their own workplace because the majority of their team members all speak Mandarin, a language they are not proficient in.
In a post titled ‘Navigating Chinese-speaking office culture as a banana,’ the worker explained they work in a statutory board team of around 15 people, where about half are Malaysians or naturalised Singaporeans from Malaysia who are more comfortable speaking Mandarin.
Read more: ‘I feel like a foreigner in my own country’: SG worker says Mandarin-speaking office culture leaves them isolated
